Category Archives: Humour

Jokes and funny stories.

Government Management

A Japanese company and an Australian government corporation decided to have a canoe race on Lake Burley Griffen. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by almost 1.5km! The Australian government corporation team was very despondent and depressed and decided to hold an investigation into their performance.

An investigation team, comprising of senior management and external consultants was formed to investigate and report appropriate actions. Their conclusion was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing, with 1 person steering. The Australian team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the Australian rowing team was completely restructured, with 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering supervisors and 1 person rowing. They also added incentives for the rower to work harder.

It was called the “Rowing Team Quality First Program”, with free dinners, trips, and free pens for the rower. They discussed getting new oars, designed a better canoe, and other improved equipment, extra holidays, and training incentives for the rower.

The following year, the Japanese won almost by 2.5km. Humiliated, the Australian management team sacked the rower for poor performance, stopped development of the new canoe, sold all the paddles and oars, cancelled all investment programs for new equipment, The money saved was paid to the management team as bonuses, and the next year’s racing team was outsourced to India.

A Cowboy Joke

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?! ” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I did in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say, partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

The Cobra and the Axe

A carpenter went home after shutting down his workshop, a black poisonous cobra entered his workshop.

The cobra was hungry and hoped to find its supper lurking somewhere within.

It slithered from one end to another and accidentally bumped into a double-edged metal axe and got very slightly injured.

In anger and seeking revenge, the snake bit the axe with full force.

What could a bite do to a metallic axe? Instead the cobra’s mouth started bleeding.

Out of fury and arrogance, the cobra tried its best to strangle and kill the object that was causing it pain by wrapping itself very tightly around the blades.

The next day when the carpenter opened the workshop, he found a seriously cut, dead cobra wrapped around the axe blades.

The cobra died not because of someone else’s fault but faced these consequences merely because of its own anger and wrath.

Sometimes when angry, we try to cause harm to others but as time passes by, we realise that we have caused more harm to ourselves.

For a happy life, it’s best we should learn to ignore and overlook some things, people, incidents, affairs and matters.

It is not necessary that we show a reaction to everything.

Step back and ask yourself if the matter is really worth responding or reacting to.

Lets treat people with kindness even if they hurt you.

People that show no inclination to change, are best handled with silence and prayer.

This story can help us take some good decisions.

How Poor We Are

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from the trip, the father asked his son,

“How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad”.

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yes”, said the son.

“So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered:

“I saw that we have one dog and they had four.”

“We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden and they have a creek that has no end.”

“We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.”

“Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.”

“We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.”

“We buy our food, but they grow theirs.”

“We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added:

“Thanks, Dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Bread and butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker.

One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not.

This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure.

The farmer replied, your Honor,

“I am primitive. I don’t have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.”

The judge asked, “Then how do you weigh the butter?”

The farmer replied:

“Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him.

Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker.”

What is the moral of the story?

We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question:

Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make?

Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face.

Others lie so much that they don’t even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves.

An Engineer accidentally goes to Hell instead of Heaven


An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He’s hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.

The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily.

The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.

One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what’s going on?

The Devil replies, “Things are great down here since you sent us that engineer.”

“What?? An engineer? I didn’t send you one of those, that must have been a mistake. Send him back up right this minute.”

The Devil responds, “No way! We are going to keep our engineer. We like this guy.”

God demands, “If you don’t send him to me immediately, I’ll sue!”

The Devil laughs. “Where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”