Monthly Archives: November 2019

Humour

A Cowboy Joke

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A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?! ” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I did in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say, partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

Humour

The Cobra and the Axe

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A carpenter went home after shutting down his workshop, a black poisonous cobra entered his workshop.

The cobra was hungry and hoped to find its supper lurking somewhere within.

It slithered from one end to another and accidentally bumped into a double-edged metal axe and got very slightly injured.

In anger and seeking revenge, the snake bit the axe with full force.

What could a bite do to a metallic axe? Instead the cobra’s mouth started bleeding.

Out of fury and arrogance, the cobra tried its best to strangle and kill the object that was causing it pain by wrapping itself very tightly around the blades.

The next day when the carpenter opened the workshop, he found a seriously cut, dead cobra wrapped around the axe blades.

The cobra died not because of someone else’s fault but faced these consequences merely because of its own anger and wrath.

Sometimes when angry, we try to cause harm to others but as time passes by, we realise that we have caused more harm to ourselves.

For a happy life, it’s best we should learn to ignore and overlook some things, people, incidents, affairs and matters.

It is not necessary that we show a reaction to everything.

Step back and ask yourself if the matter is really worth responding or reacting to.

Lets treat people with kindness even if they hurt you.

People that show no inclination to change, are best handled with silence and prayer.

This story can help us take some good decisions.

Humour

How Poor We Are

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One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from the trip, the father asked his son,

“How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad”.

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yes”, said the son.

“So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered:

“I saw that we have one dog and they had four.”

“We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden and they have a creek that has no end.”

“We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.”

“Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.”

“We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.”

“We buy our food, but they grow theirs.”

“We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added:

“Thanks, Dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Uncategorized

Be Masters of Our Mouth

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Once upon a time an old man and a young man were living nearby.

The old man spread rumors that his young neighbor was a thief.

As a result, the young man was arrested by the police and brought to magistrate.

Days later the young man was proven innocent.

After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.

In court the old man told the Judge:

He just made comments, didn’t harm anyone..

The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man:

Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper.

Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out.

Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.

The next day, the judge told the old man:

Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.

The old man said:

I can’t do that ! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.

The judge then replied:

The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it.

“If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anythıng.”

Let’s all be masters of our mouths, so that we won’t be slaves of our words.

Humour

Bread and butter

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There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker.

One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not.

This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure.

The farmer replied, your Honor,

“I am primitive. I don’t have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.”

The judge asked, “Then how do you weigh the butter?”

The farmer replied:

“Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him.

Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker.”

What is the moral of the story?

We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question:

Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make?

Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face.

Others lie so much that they don’t even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves.

configuration, ICT, Uncategorized

VIM: Vundle to vim-plug

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After several years of using my old .vimrc with vundle, finally bit the bullet and converted to vim-plug. It was quite an easy transition, and in my case, vim is now quicker to load.


$ curl -fLo ~/.vim/autoload/plug.vim --create-dirs https://raw.githubusercontent.com/junegunn/vim-plug/master/plug.vim

I then wrote out the new .vimrc as follows 


"
" Plugins will be downloaded under the specified directory.
call plug#begin('~/.vim/plugged')
" Declare the list of plugins.
" git plugins
Plug 'tpope/vim-fugitive'
Plug 'tpope/vim-git'
Plug 'tpope/vim-obsession'
Plug 'airblade/vim-gitgutter'
Plug 'tpope/vim-sleuth'
Plug 'tpope/vim-surround'

" statusbar
Plug 'vim-airline/vim-airline'

" syntax highlighting
Plug 'scrooloose/syntastic'
Plug 'vim-pandoc/vim-pandoc'
Plug 'vim-pandoc/vim-pandoc-syntax'
Plug 'dense-analysis/ale'

" colourstuff
Plug 'nightsense/night-and-day'
Plug 'altercation/vim-colors-solarized'
Plug 'tpope/vim-vividchalk'
Plug 'gkjgh/cobalt'
Plug 'vim-scripts/mayansmoke'
" List ends here. Plugins become visible to Vim after this call.
call plug#end()

" Now ensure certain stuff on
filetype plugin indent on

" other settings
set encoding=utf-8
set mouse=a
set ff=unix
set spelllang=en_au
syntax enable
set termguicolors

"--------------------------------------------------------------
" Console ui and text display
" -------------------------------------------------------------
set vb t_vb =
set ruler
set noerrorbells
set scrolloff=5
set number                                                     "line numbering
set showmatch                                                  " show matches

"--------------------------------------------------------------
" TAB specific options
" -------------------------------------------------------------
set tabstop=4
set expandtab
set softtabstop=4
set shiftwidth=4
set smarttab
set shiftround
set nojoinspaces

"--------------------------------------------------------------
"  colourscheme settings depending on sunlight levels.
" -------------------------------------------------------------
let g:nd_themes = [
  \ ['sunrise+0/0',  'mayansmoke',       'light' ],
  \ ['sunset+0/0',  'cobalt',           'dark'  ],
  \ ]

let g:nd_latitude = '-30'
let g:nd_timeshift = '0'
let g:nd_airline = 1

set wildmenu
set wildmode=list:longest

set fileformats=unix,dos,mac

set incsearch
set ignorecase
set smartcase

if filereadable(".vim.custom")
	so .vim.custom
endif

" vim airline
let g:airline#extensions#branch#enabled = 1
let g:airline#extensions#branch#empty_message = ''
let g:airline#extensions#branch#syntastic#enabled = 1
let g:airline#extensions#tabline#enabled = 1

It was then just a matter of restarting vim and entering:


:PlugInstall

Updating is simple as well:


:PlugUpdate

To update vim-plug itself, just enter:


:PlugUpgrade